Where do I even begin? I’m here laying in bed wishing for wings to fly. I trust you Oh God. i trust you. My journey hasn’t been easy and I don’t like a couple of stuff that happened or wish would have happened but didn’t but then again I know how much you have blessed me so Thank you. There are nights I wish I’d close my eyes and I’d be no more but yet you give me another day and I use it unproductively, same routine…same things…no challenges. Sometimes I wish I could just cry out my loneliness, my imperfections, but my tears are so far away.
I come out as needy in relationships but I don’t do so great being single. I’m all I got. I pray I make more out of myself than what I am now. I’m a fighter, I’m a winner, I’m blessed, I claim psalm 23. I will no longer live an unproductive life in Jesus’s might name. I refuse to be the tail as I was born to be the head. I refuse to let the enemy still my blessings as I reclaim all of them in Jesus’s name. I will not fear anymore for God my God is with me.
dude I’m sad as hell too I just wrote this i feel i relate
i don’t know who to turn to. I’m so mad at my circumstances. i couldn’t enjoy my childhood, nor do i feel I’m enjoying my youth. i have dreams to travel and meet people. to learn, to earn, to fly on my own, but I feel chained when the one’s next to me are flying off to their own destinations I watch them go as I’m suddenly alone…the mistakes of my elders are holding me back. i fail at everything. sometimes i wonder maybe I’m dying, maybe I’m sick. no energy or motivation to stick to my wishes i don’t know where I’m going, if I’m wrong or I’m right. i call out to God for I minute I hear a whisper, but it’s too quick and it diminishes. I’m lost in a world of dreams unfulfilled because restraints my elders brought on themselves are the ball and chain to my wishes. when i whimper a bit to vent the pain I’m quickly reminded of the ones before me who studied under street lamps, who fed the family and never went to sleep. I quickly feel guilt unimaginable to have such selfish dreams and I look down to a pen and paper, draw my pain and set it free of and watch my dreams dimming away the same way the others flew away after theirs.